


I'll Help You Forget Him

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill tries to help him, Collage, College Student Dipper Pines, Depressed Dipper, Dipper has a crush on bill, Dipper is a nerd, Dipper was abused, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, Past Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, bill is nice, bill like dipper, but bill loves him, collage AU, dipper is scared he will fuck it up, dipper is scared he will get hurt again, there will be so much fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-10 11:29:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6983068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its Dippers first year in college. Throughout high school he was in a very abusive relationship with a guy named Mark. Now that he is free from him he is beginning to get his life back on track and is starting to make friends for the first time in a while. And maybe, he could get a boyfriend who actually treats him the way he deserves!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting new people

**Author's Note:**

> Im trying something new out, im not sure if it will work out my apologies if i completely waste your time... Ive only just recently started writing and im still not very confidant. I have a hard time with spelling and grammar so if you see any mistakes please let me know and i will fix it.

Over the past summers Mabel was the only thing that grounded Dipper to the earth. and now she was 3 states away at her fashion school while he was shipped off to Gravity Falls College to study philosophy. Over the phone Mabel seemed so happy, they had only been in school for a week and Mabel was saying hi to everyone who walked past her. He had no one. He didn't even know his dorm neighbours. He was too awkward to introduce himself to people, and people never seemed to want to talk to him. He told himself he was ok with it. He was just the kid with the long sleeved shirt to cover his scars that no one wanted to talk to.

It was late afternoon on his 8th day at college. Classes started in 6 days ago and Dipper still knew no one. He was used to being alone so the tree taps on the door caught him by surprise. Dipper stretched and he stood from his chair and slowly made his way to his door. He looked through the small hole to look at he person on the other side. He always did this because after the years of warning, he was completely paranoid. 

On the other side stood a boy, he thought he may have seen him around before. He was tall, around six feet, with golden blond hair perfectly styled. He wore a baggy sweater with a brick pattern with a big eye in the centre with sleek black jeans that showed off his lean legs. Dipper unlocked the deadbolt on his door and looked at him, not fully opening the door. 

“H-hello…” Dippers voice was quiet as he looked up at the man. 

“Hey! Its Dipper, right?” The man looked at dipper and gave a quick nod. How did this guy know his name? “I’m Bill!, Bill Cipher!” Dipper stared at him with a calculating expression. 

“What-What do you want?” Dipper voice was low and filled with fear. Even after he broke up with his ex, he still felt like he shouldn't be talking to other people. 

“Geez kid, I’m not gonna kill you…” Bills voice was joking but the look on Dippers face told him that he doubted him. “I was planning on a party tonight in my room, it starts at 10 ish. I’m inviting the whole floor because I thought that would be a good way to get to know everyone.” Dipper was still looking at him with a look of fear, curiosity and confusion. “So, I hope to see you then!” Bill smiled and walked away tot he next door. Dipper closed his and sat on his bed. He was never been a party person, but maybe he could meet some new friends that way. ‘Maybe’ he concluded. Maybe. 

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The night went on and he was bored. He started to write a new fan fiction, the plot seemed was absolutely everywhere so he decided to scrap it and started drawing. He was drawing a picture of a intricate dragon sleeping in a forest. He was just starting to detail the leaves on the trees when he heard the loud music from down the hall. ‘oh’. He got up and opened the door and looked down the hallway. The other end of the hallway was filled with people from his floor, a door was left open was spilling with people drinking, smoking and dancing to the obnoxiously loud music. He looked at the scene from afar, he was definitely not going to join that. 

He walked across the hall to the co-ed bathroom to be greeted by a blond girl, around his age, vomiting all of the contents of her stomach. Dipper looked at her through the open stall door, she was crumpled over the toilet in the handicapped stall. Her breathing was fast and panicked, Dipper recognized this as a panic attack, he was so used to getting them he could recognize the signs. He walked in the stall and was met by the smell of booze. She heard his footsteps and seemed to get even more panicked. She bent over the toilet again, but this time Dipper held her hair for her. He did this so many times for Mabel when they were in high school this didn't even seem to phase him. He started to rub her back in a comforting manner. She was now dry heaving and he bent down on his knees, telling her to breath in a comforting tone. Once her breathing had evened out Dipper grabbed some toilet paper and offered it to her to wipe her mouth. 

“Thanks” Her voice was rough and raspy. Dipper seemed to notice this and stood.

“I’m going to get you a bottle of water to wash out your mouth, I’ll be right back.” She looked up at Dipper like he was an angel sent from heaven. He left the washroom and went back to his room. He got one of his many water bottles from the mini fridge. He quickly walked back to the girl who was now leaning against the stalls wall. She looked exhausted. Dipper offered her the water and she gratefully took it. 

“Thanks, again. Sorry I was really panicking there” She looked at the blond girl and noticed her outfit. She was wearing a black skirt with a cute purple top. “I’m pacifica, by the way.” She looked up at Dipper with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I guess that wasn't a very good first impression.” Dipper looked up at her and smiled as she washed her mouth out with the water he gave her.

“Its fine. I’m Dipper by the way” The two sat in silence for a while. He was staring at the floor when he noticed that she was nodding off. “Hey” He said it gently to catch her attention. “Lemme help you back to your room. He stood extending a hand for her to take. He helped her up steadying her as she wobbled. “What’s your room number?” 

“hmm…413” Her words were a whisper on her lips. 

“I’ll take you there.” He lead her out of the bathroom encouraging her steps. At one point she nearly fell over so he bend down and picked her up bridal style. This wasn't hard for him because she was small and light. He found the room number and found it unlocked. He somehow managed to open it and push the door open. The room was split into two half, One was very purple the other was green. On the green side their was another girl sitting on a laptop typing something. 

“Hey pac— Who the hell are you?!? What did you do to Pacifica?” The other girl stood up and watched as Dipper placed Pacifica on the bed. He tucked her in and started to explain himself to the other girl. 

“I think she got a little drunk, had some sort of panic attack. I found her vomiting and in the co-ed bathroom, I managed to calm her down, gave her some water and then I took her here.” She simply looked at him with a confused expression. 

“Well…Thanks I guess…She always managed to get herself into trouble” She then smiled at him. “I’m Wendy!” She extended her hand to shake and he took it. “Nice to meet you!” She looked at her friend passed out on the bed. 

“Im Dipper Pines.” Dipper looked at her. She was pretty, she had nice long red hair and she wore a nice green flannel. “Well, I’m going to go back to my room. See ya around I guess.” 

“See ya, and thanks again for taking care of her.”

“Its no Problem” He said as he left the room. He began to walk to his room. Halfway there someone caught his arm. He looked to the person who was grabbing him. It was Bill, the guy who was hosting the party. 

“Hey! Are you going to join the party!” Bill asked with a smile plastered on his face. He let go of Dippers arm and waited for answer. 

“Nah, parties aren’t really my thing.” He said as he reached his door. The party was now visible again and dipper shuddered at the thought of being there, so cramped in a small room with too many people. “You should go back, it is Your party.” Bill smiled at him, he seemed to get dippers vibe of social awkwardness. 

“Whatever floats your goat! Oh, Hey, someone told me you carried Paz to bed! Thanks thats usually my job as the host!” Bill laughed almost to loudly. Bill ran off back to his party with a happy skip in his step. Dipper stood in front of his door and watched how Bill seemed to get sucked into the room that was overflowing with people. Dipper shook his head at the ridiculously chaotic scene. He was just happy to go back into his room and go back to his drawing and go to sleep.


	2. Making New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dip makes some new friends, and possibly a new crush?!?!

The morning greeted his with peace and quiet. He assumed it was because everyone was hungover from the party last night. He quietly gathered everything he needed for a showers and made his way to the males showers in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. When he got their the 3 stalls were all occupied. He sighed and made his way to the bench to wait for someone to leave so he could claim a shower. He sat their thinking about the night before. 

He wondered if the girl from last night, Pacifica, would even remember him. While he was pondering this someone came out of a shower, that person left and he turned the water on. He washed himself and stepped out. When he walked across the hall back to his room and got changed. When he was jest getting ready to do some more sketching an idea struck him.

He then made fried eggs on toast and breakfast sausages for tree. He gathered one orange juice and cups and brought everything to 413. He quietly knocked on the door twice. Wendy opened the door and greeted him with a smile. She then looked at the food he was carrying. He had 3 full plates balanced on his arms and a grocery bag with the OJ. 

“Jesus, how are you carrying all that?” she said in a small whisper.

“I was a waitress for 2 years before I came here.” She smiled at him letting him in the room. He saw Pacifica curled up in a ball on her bed. She moved a little and groaned. 

“Who’zz at the door?” She groaned. 

“Your knight in shining armour!” Wendy purposely yelled to loudly into her ear. Pacifica berried her head into the pillow. She then looked at Dipper and widened her eyes in realization. She the plunged her head back into the pillow and mumbled something. Dipper gave Wendy one plate and placed the OJ on Pacifica desk. He then took a plate and sat on the end of Pacifica's bed. He patted her leg through the sheets to try to get her to sit up. Eventually she sat herself on her bed. Dipper handed her a plate and smiled. 

“I made it extra greasy to help with the hangover.” She took the plate willingly and stuffed the scrambled eggs in her mouth. Her eyes widened when she started to chew. The flavour was amazing. He smiled when she pointed at the food indicating that it was good. Dipper poured them all some OJ draining the container. He then searched the room to find the recycling bin and tossed it in.

“So! Dip, Where are you from?” Wendy inquired as Dipper grabbed his own plate of food. Dipper looked at her and smiled. 

“I’m from Piedmont California, you?” 

“Oh, I grew up here…and so did Paz” She gestured to Pacifica who was happily eating the meal Dipper gave her. “Thanks a lot for breakfast!” She said as she took a huge mouthful of eggs. He smiled at her enthusiasm. 

“So, did you go to Ciphers party last night? After you dropped me off, thanks for that by the way…” She looked at him and gave him a smile, while Wendy scarfed down more of her breakfast.

“Truly, it was no problem! But, no. I’m not a party person. To be perfectly honest, I’m quite introverted. This is the most social I've been in a long time.”

“I 100% get that. I don't even know why I went to that last night. I don't really like crowded situations. I was just destined to drink too much and have an anxiety attack, I used to like party when I was a kid, but then during high school I just started to get uncomfortable.” Pacifica looked to her food with a sad look. 

“Hey! if you didn't go, you wouldn't have brought this cutie here” Wendy said loudly and ruffled his hair. “Thanks for the breakfast Dip! Wait— is it cool if I call you that?” Dipper nodded excitedly, he was just personally happy to have friends. “I got to go meet Robbie and the others, we were going to the mall today. See you guys later!” With that she opened the door and left leaving Pacifica and Dipper alone. 

“Thanks a lot for last night, I was really panicking. I was at the part but the everything suddenly became too much to handle. I kinda lost a grip on it all, thank god I at least made it to the bathroom.” She finished her last mouthful of food and handed the plate back to Dipper. “Don’t judge me for my mistake I made” 

“I did not and am not, judging you, er…well, now I am, but in a good way. You seem really nice! Maybe we can hang out some time?” Dipper was uncertain with his words because he hasn't had friends in a long time and he didn't know how to be social anymore. 

“I’de like that! I always find it hard to make new friends… I mean, I did grow up here, but most of the other people left Gravity Falls after graduating.” Dipper stood collecting his things and placed them in a neat pile. 

“I get that, I’m not good at making friends either. To be perfectly honest, your the second person I've talked to this whole time I've been here.”

“Really! move in day was like 4 days ago, have you really talk to one other person before you found me vomiting!?!” She seemed to be in utter disbelief, she never knew someone could be so nice and yet have such low social status. Dipper just nodded his head, she looked at him giving the “What The Fuck’ face. Dipper just shrugged. He sat back down next to her on her bed.

“Not many people want to be around me…” He said slowly frowning down at his hands. He always knew that that was the truth. 

“Im sure thats not true! I only met you yesterday, and I want to be around you, plus, you held my hair while I puked, by my rules that means you have to be a pretty good person.” She smiled at him and he returned it. “I have an idea, its quiet, and well get to know each other better.”

“Ok, whats is it?” Dipper wondered if there was such a thing that fit both criteria. She pulled out her phone and typed in her password. 

“Get you phone out. We are going to stock each other!” She smiled and clicked her Instagram icon and gave it to him. “Find your account!” He took her phone and typed in his username, ‘PineTree86’. She laughed at the username. “Please tell me you didn't make this username. He let out a loud laugh. 

“Nah, My twin did” He held out his own phone so she could type in her username. She typed it in and he giggled. “But-Hey, Look who’s talking ‘PurplePrincess72’” They both quietly laughed at that. They both scrolled through each other photo, sometimes stopping and asking about something. Dipper found a photo of her and her family and his jaw dropped. “Is this your house!” He looked at her with disbelief. 

“Unfortunately” Her voice dropped and she sounded ashamed of it. 

“What is that supposed to mean…?” He said in a confused tone. 

“Its just…everyone sees me as a rich preppy girl, and trust me, I was when I was younger…People just see me as money and not a person—WAIT WHAT IS THIS?!?!” She clicked on a photo and held it out. It was a photo he had forgotten to delete from over a year ago. The picture featured Dipper sitting on a park bench, in the lap of a muscular bennett, sharing a kiss.   
“Oh…Thats ummm… Mark, my ex.” His voice trailed off, he really should delete that, he never anted to see his face again after what he did to him. Pacifica's face was suddenly lit with joy. 

“Are you telling me your gay?!?!” She squealed in excitement, he didn't understand her excitement. 

“Ummm, Yes?” It came out as a question but he wanted to make it a firm answer, God why was he so awkward…

“Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!” Her words seemed to blend into one long noise. She took him in a firm grip and hugged him tightly. “Ive always wanted a gay best friend!” She seemed to be vey enthusiastic, to a point that Dipper didn't understand. She let go of him and seems to chatter on and on about the sleepovers they could have and how they can talk about boys together. 

“You seem really happy.” Dipper looked at her with a calculating expression. He couldn't figure out what she was thinking and he really wanted to know how to answer the next burst of questions that seemed to burst from her. Dipper stayed in her room sitting on the bed until lunchtime. They exchanges phone numbers so that they could text whenever they wanted.Dipper was pleased with himself, he was making friends. They had decided to take a trip the little food court near the bookstore. Paz seemed to be keen to introduce him to a little place called ‘blue mount bistro’ that apparently made really good wraps. 

They eventually got there food and sat in the middle of the busy cafeteria. They were both enjoying their food when a sudden tap alerted dipper that someone was behind him. He turned to see who it was. It was Bill. Bill was wearing a tight black shirt with a big Yellow triangle. They seemed to be obsessed by the shape. He was wearing some tight blue jeans. Dipper noticed the intricate tattoos on his arms that was littered with little black lines and triangles in them. ‘weird’ he thought. 

“Hello” Bill said to him, Bill seemed to just be staring at him. Pacifica was sitting across from him and aimed a light kick underneath the table. 

“Hey, Kid!” He looked over to Pacifica. “Hey, Paz, how you feeling?” Pacifica scowled at him. 

“I’m doing better, that party last night really drained me.” Bill smiled at he and looked between the two of them. 

“I heard, Wendy told me that a hero saved you from sleeping on the floor on the bathroom and heroically carried you away to bed.” Bill seemed to be entertained by the rage that Pacifica was now sending him through eye contact. Bill just laughed even harder when she threw some of her food at him. They were both just joking though. Dipper wished he was able to do that stuff without saying or doing something to make it weird. 

“Thanks again for taking care of her last night, and bringing her breakfast this morning!” Dipper looked at him with the most confusion he had ever seen on someones face. “I have eyes everywhere kiddo! I know almost everything that happens here!” Dippers face was still just as confused. He turned back to the wrap that he was still eating, chewed then opened his mouth. 

Bill sat himself down next to Dipper and looked at him, he seemed to study him and dippers face flushed red as the amazingly beautiful guy sat next to him, clearly checking him out. Pacifica quickly grabbed a pen and wrote something down looking between her phone and the napkin as she wrote. She passed it to Bill and he analyzed it. He then smiled and gave her a wink. Pacifica squealed something inhuman picked up her stuff and walked off. 

“Where is she going?” Dipper looked at him. The exchange was the oddest thing he had ever seen. The something told him to see what she wrote on the napkin. He grabbed it and looked to the words. Only, They weren't words at all. It seemed to be a jumble of letters that made no sense wheresoever. ‘UR VF TNL GBB’. Dipper looked at Bill, then back to the message. 

“What the fuck is this?” Dipper seemed to be infuriated that he was missing something. He then grabbed the napkin and stuffed it into his pocket.

“You’ll know soon enough.” Bill then winked at Dipper. Dipper finished his wrap as Bill rambled on about his party the night before. Dipper laughed at his, genuinely funny jokes and found himself really enjoying this guys company. “Ill walk you back to your room.” 

Dipper and Bill walked back to building that they both lived in, laughing at stupid puns. Dipper found himself really liking him. He wasn't the ass he thought he would be. When they parted bill gave him an odd squeeze on the shoulder. Dipper found himself looking at Bills face, it was pretty much perfect. One thing that he found odd though, was that his eyes were two different colours. One a deep blue and the other almost gold. Eventually Bill dropped his arm and wandered back to his own room. Dipper found himself watching Bill walk off, the sway in his hips, the was he seemed to do everything with such grace. Dipper closed his door and sat in the chair on his desk. Dipper then pulled the now held crumpled napkin out of his pocket and looked at the cipher. It must be some kind of joke between him and Paz. 

‘UR VF TNL GBB’

He took the napkin and looked at it. A message that short must be meaningless. Not top priority. He could solve it later, now he needed to do some internet research on one ‘Bill Cipher’.


	3. Bad Habits

Dipper settled into his desk ready to do some innocent internet stocking when he got a text from Paz. **‘Come to my room ASAP’**. Dipper read it trying to comprehend it, was something wrong? What could she be up to? He made his way over to her room and pushed it open. She was sitting at her desk with a strange smile on her face.

“So…What do you think of Bill?” She said suggestively wiggling er eyebrows. “Ummm…He’s nice, I guess…?” He didn't know what she was getting at so he said it like a question.

“Yea, he is nice…So! What did you two talk about when I left.” She got out of her chair and plopped herself on her bed motioning for him to join. He sat on the bed and leaned against the wall. 

“Ummm…We talked about the party he had. Umm, we talked about our courses, he told a lot of jokes and puns…” Dipper was suddenly deep in thought. He was thinking about the way Bill looked, his eyes, his walk, his talk, everything about him was mesmerizing. He looked Paz int he eye. “Shit…he’s hot.” The confession came out and he looked in his palms, he was always embarrassed about admitting things to other people, but Paz was so like Mabel in ways he knew she would help him through his feelings. She smiled like a maniac, her grin was spread ear to ear.

“Ship” 

“What?!?” She looked at him with a smile that seemed to get wider by the second. “I ship you two!” She started laughing because Dipper face seemed to become impossibly redder.

“Do. Not.” Dipper pleaded.

“I CAN SHIP WHATEVER I PLEASE” she yelled with enthusiasm jumping off of her bed. Dipper was then suddenly very aware of his situation.

“Don't! Don't you dare get my hopes up!” Dipper slammed his hand down on the bed frame. “No one likes me, and no one will! So stop right now!” Dippers fists clenched at his sides and his voice was raised but was all serious. She seemed dumbfounded by his reaction. How could someone be so convinced that no one liked them. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to yell.” 

“Dipp—“ 

“No, I’m sorry, I’m-I’m just going to go, Im sorry, Im sorry!” Dipper then left the room, he ignored the text alerts from his phone from Paz. ‘ _now she hates me, she will never want to be my friend, But no one should be my friend anyways…I'm horrible, sad and deserve to be alone’_ he thought to himself.

He quickly left her practically ran through the small corridors in the dorm. Dipper knew no one could like him, he was so awkward. His ex always told him that before he hurt him. His ex was possessive and always told him he had no friends because no only liked him, that he was the only one who would be there for him, Dipper even believed him. 

Dipper got to his door and fumbled to get the keys out of him pocket. Memories of Mark were flowing threw his head. All of those times he would take him away from his family for a weekend and had his way with him. Dipper could still remember the way he would be pushed into the mattress while Mark dis as he pleased. He as so ashamed of himself. He was so weak, it was only two weeks of struggling to get away until he just stopped fighting it. If he let it happen, he could leave with one less bruise.

Dipper was still trying to get his key in the door, but now there was a steady stream of tears falling from his eyes. He sniffled and unlocked the door. He could hear footsteps coming down the hall, he did not want anyone to see him like this, and anyway, he didn't want anyone around while he did his ‘thing’. 

He heard the footsteps getting closer and he ripped his door open, ran inside and slammed it shut locking it. Dippers back was against the door and his body seemed to give out, tears where falling mercilessly down his face and his body began to shake in silent sobs. 

_'No one can like me, if they do, I just end up bringing them down. Its better if i just stay on my own, I will hurt less people and they can all just stay happy. I don’t deserve help, I don’t deserve friends. I am worthless. If i die right now, only Mabel will notice and even then she will be happier without me. I should have never been born, I cant be happy, its foolish to think i can be. Anyway, I’m to far gone already…'_

Dipper crawled across his room and opened his desk drawer. Inside were pencils, pens, paper and other school supplies was the thing he desired. He could here something on the other side of the door but he didn't care at thins point. In the desk was a small box, a ring box actually. The exact same box that held the first present Mark had given him, a small silver ring. Funny how it was changed. Now the box holds three sharp razors.

Dipper lifted his sleeve up to reveal his scar covered arms. After Mark, this had become a bad habit. He lifted the sharpest of the three and held it to his arm. _‘I shouldn't, Mabel will be disappointed in me’._ Dipper let out a load sob. _‘But…Mabel isn't here right now.’_

And with that he dragged the blade across his arm. Dippers head fell back and he let out another sob, and then…slowly, his mind cleared. He exhaled and he finally felt calm. He didn't want this feeling to fade so head cut again and again. It stung but it was a good feeling to him. He was halfway his pale arm when there quick taps on the door.

The calm that Dipper was in was suddenly ripped from away. He was suddenly aware of what he was doing. He scrambled to hide his razors, he placed them in the box and snapped it shut. Dipper threw it into the drawer and slammed it shut. 

“Dipper? Are you ok in there? You seemed upset in the hall.”

Dipper recognized the voice and flustered him. It was Bill. 

“Can I come in?” Dipper looked around his room, it was still a mess and now, his arm was bleeding. from the cuts on his arm. “Ugh…just-just a sec!” Dipper wiped his eyes with his unharmed arm and quickly got a long bandage and wrapped his arm in it. It was soaking the blood up and was keeping a little pressure on it. He then tugged his sleeve down and completely concealed the bandage. _‘perfect’_. 

He quickly put all of his laundry in a pile and stuffed some garbage under his bed. He walked to his door and slowly opened it. “H-Hi Bill…wh-whats up” Dipper tried to make his voice more confidant but it still shook. Dippers must have looked like a train wreck. Bill looked at him with confusion. Bill lifted his hand and touched Dippers cheek. “Whats wrong?” Bills voice was full of concern, and that scared Dipper. 

_‘People shouldn't care about me. I just hurt everyone._   _I should make him leave before I fuck up like I did with Paz.’_

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong, you-you can go, umm…tha-thanks for checking on me.” Dipper started closing the door but Bills foot caught it from shutting. Bill looked through the small space between the door and door frame. 

“Thats a lot of bullshit. Let me come in, tell me whats wrong.” Bills eyes seemed beg to let him in, but dipper wouldn't have that. 

“I’m fine, go away!” Dipper leaned some of his weight on the door so that if Bill took his foot away it would close, and that Bill couldn't force it open. 

“You don't seem fine, let me in.” Dipper rolled his eyes. Bill wasn't giving up anytime soon, and like he always did with Mark, he stopped fighting. Dipper stepped back and went to sit on his bed. His arm was really starting to sting but he brushed of the pain. He sat on the edge of the bed and curled his body into himself.

Bill pushed the door open and looked around the room. He seemed to approve of the Game Of Thrones and Skyrim posters above his bed. Bill sat himself down next to Dipper and moved to put his arm around Dipper. Dipper turned stiff and didn't move under the touch. All Dipper was thinking of was Mark, and lost himself in his memories once again.

_*Memory*_

_Dipper was sitting on Marks bed with his hands tied tightly together. Mark was holding Dippers shoulders with one arm and he began tracing small shapes on his bare thighs. ‘Do you know why your being punished today?’ Dipper slowly nodded his head while tears fell from his face. Marks hands then became busy with unbuckling his belt. ‘What did you do wrong?’ ‘I-I went out with Mabel without your permission’ Mark looked at him with an angry expression. “And…?’ ‘and I lied to you about it…’ Dipper couldn't look into his eye.’Precisely’. Mark lifted Dipper up and flipped him so he was face down on the mattress and his arms were above his head. Dipper let out a soft sob as tears were soaked into the sheets. ‘Please…don’t’ was all Dipper could say before Mark gagged, and then entered him._

__

Bill noticed that Dipper was out in some kind of trance. _‘Whats going through this kids head?’_ Bill wondered. Bill looked up to his face and saw the silent tears traveling down his face. Bill noticed and took his arm back from Dipper shoulders. As he did this Bill saw him visibly relax and come back from his thoughts. Dipper looked up at Bill and saw his, once again, worried expression. 

“I’m sorry, I'm sorry! I know I'm pathetic…” Dipper sniffled and all Bill wanted to do is comfort him. Bill looked at Dipper and only saw how beautiful he is, but he saw past the beautiful body and saw his broken mind. All Bill could think was _‘I have to help him’_. Dipper apologized again and then crawled into the corner of his bed away from Bill and pulled the sheets over his head. He couldn't let Bill, of all people, see him like this. But then it occurred to him how childish he was acting. 

“You're not pathetic. You just seem hurt.” Bill rubbed his back through the sheets in a comforting manner and this time Dipper seemed to relax into the touch. Bill kept comforting him and saying words of encouragement to try to get him to come out of the sheets on the bed. Dipper finally came out from under the sheets on the bed. Bill scooted closer to him and extended his arms out to him. 

Dipper had seemed to become a little more comfortable with him and leaned into Bills chest. Bill gave him a tight hug, but then gathered Dippers body into his arms and cradled him. “So why are you upset.” Dipper curled into Bill and bill stroked his hair.

“I said something stupid and impulsive to Paz. She probably hates me now. And than I just have a lot on my mind…” Dipper trailed off. Bill knew Paz didn't hate him, it took a lot to make her hate anyone.

“Paz doesn't hate you. When ever someone bothers her and she hates their guts, she usually texts me right away.” 

“So you don't think she hats me”

“I now she doesn’t. I don't think anyone can hate you to be honest” Dippers expression was unchanging. Bill thought that the confirmation that Paz didn't hate him would cheer him up a little, but apparently not. “What else is on your mind?” Dipper shrugged. “Shrugging doesn't give me anything to work with kiddo.” 

“I was just thinking…” Dipper trailed off again. He clearly wasn’t comfortable with talking about it. 

“Its ok, you don't need to tell me of you don't want to.” Dipper looked at him and gave a small forces smile to thank him for his patients. Dipper lifted his arm to wipe his still wet eyes.

Dipper didn't realize that when he did this his sleeve rode up his wrist. Bills eyes found the tightly wrapped bandage around his arm, and the blood drained from his face. Bill hoped to every god out there that his first assumption is wrong. _‘He couldn’t…How can someone so good do that to themselves?’_. Dipper didn't notice Bills face change expression. Bill composed himself and spoke calmly.

“Can I ask you something, Dipper?” Dipper looked up to him and nodded. Bill took his hand lightly and lifted the sleeve slightly exposing the bandage.

“Whats this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that a cliff hanger? idk...
> 
> Updates will be whenever i decide to write...sorry


	4. Don't Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter, Not my best but it'll do.

Dipper, What's this?”  

Dipper looked like a deer caught in the headlights, his eyes were wide and his jaw slightly dropped. He quickly realized he needed to keep his cool if he was going to lie. “It-its nothing, I just fell the other day.” Dipper took his hand back from Bills and pulled the sleeve back down.  

“It doesn't look like nothing to me.” Dipper was still cradled by Bill, he started to shift his weight out of his hold but Bill wouldn't let go of him. Bill wanted to know if his suspicions were true. He quickly thought of a sly way to get him to show him. “I took a first aid course in the summer. Let me take a look, I can probably wrap it better for you.”  

“No, I did a good enough job, don't worry, it's fine.” Dipper voice was strained and forced. Bill knew, he must know. Dipper couldn't lie for the life of him. Dipper started to struggle against Bill again, Bill kept him in his arms not letting go. Dipper breathing sped up and he started to panic. The feeling of being held against his will was causing him to flash back to nights with Mark. Tears started to drip down his face as he started to  _really_  panic.  

“Shhhh, Dipper. Look at me” Dippers vision was blurred with tears and he lifted his arms to escape him. Bill caught both of his wrists and forced Dipper to look at him. “Look.” Dipper blinked his tears away and saw Bills face. “It's me, Bill. Im not going to hurt you”. Dipper looked into Bills eyes and saw the colors, one golden, one blue. Dippers breathing slowed as he realized he was definitely not Mark. The person holding him was Bill, a friend, and Bill wasn't going to hurt him. Bill brough him back in and held him, this time it was calming Dipper. 

“Im sorry” Dipper croaked. He buried his face into the crook of Bills shoulder and released a long slow exhale.  

“Its not your fault” Bill stroked Dippers back as he sniffled in his arms. “I shouldn't of held you like that” Bills apology was genuine, he didn't know that Dipper would react of negatively to Bills comfort, but then again, this kid was broken.  

“No no, don’t apologize, it was nice once I knew it was you” Dipper was snuggling into Bill when he realized how childish he was acting. Dipper quickly got out of Bills arms and immediately felt pathetic again. He turned his back to Bill and crossed his arms. “I’m sorry for freaking out like that. I'm sorry, I just—” 

“—It's ok, we all freak out sometimes”. Bill quickly said. He knew the kid must have some pretty brutal self hate thoughts running through his head again and he was determined to make Dipper feel better. “Hey, why don’t we go to my room”. Dipper looked at him. _‘Why would he want me to go to his room?’._ Dipper turned and gave him a confused look.  

“Why?” Dipper questioned. Bill shrugged and got up. 

“Will you just come?” Bill took Dippers arm and dragged him out of his room and closed the door. They walked to the end of the hall into Bills room. It was a larger room, and to Dippers surprise, it was spotless. Dipper stood in the center of the room as Bill closed the door. He walked to the far end and opened a cupboard above his desk. Dipper was looking around and didn't notice what Bill was grabbing. 

"Sit on the bed” Bill was going through some sort of box, he could hear the rattle of different things but couldn't guess what they were. Dipper sat himself on the bed wondering what Bill was doing. Bill then turned around holding multiple things, they included polysporin and some bandages. Dippers face fell in fear. He didn't want Bill to know how weak he was.  

Dipper didn't know what to do when Bill sat in the middle of the bed crossing his legs and motioning him to join him. Dipper slowly sat himself facing Bill. Dipper could feel Bills stare on him, he felt sick at the thought of him finding what was under the bandages, if he hadn't guessed already. Bill reached for Dippers hand.  

“I told you, it's fine” He pulled his sleeves down so the bandages were completely covered. 

“And I don't believe you…” Bill took Dippers sleeve and pulled it up showing the bandage, it had a little blood soaking through it. Bill reached to start to undo it and Dipper sucked in a breath. . “I want you to know, I’m not going to judge you for whatever is under here.” 

Dipper looked at him doubtfully. “Do you promise? I mean, do-do you promise not to judge me?”  

“Of course” Dipper nodded and closed his eyes. He winced as Bill began to remove the sticky bandage. Bill shook his head as he saw the mess.  

Dipper opened his eye enough to see Bills expression. He didn't have one. His face was completely blank. Dipper exhaled for the first time in a minute. Bill silently got some antiseptic wipes and cleaned of the dry and some still wet blood. He got some butterfly bandages for some of the deeper cuts and some polysporin. Bill then expertly re-wrapped his arm and held his hand. 

“You don't need to tell me why you do this, I won't pry. But, can you promise me one thing?” Dipper locked eyes with Bill. “If you  _ever_ feel like doing this, you find me. You find me and we can find something else to do, something other than  _this.”_ He gestured to Dippers arm frowning. “Your worth more than this, you don't need to do this to yourself.” Dipper slowly nodded his head, knowing Bill wouldn't let him say anything else. “I want you to promise me. You will find me if you feel like this again.” Dipper looked down to his lap.  

“I-I promise” Dippers voice was a whisper on his lips. Bill let go of one of his hands and brought it up to lift his chin, forcing him to look Bill in the eyes again.  

“I never want to see this again.” They held eye contact for almost to long. Dipper nodded again. “How are you feeling right now?” Bill was being so nice. ‘ _I don’t deserve to have someone care about me like this’._  

“Like shit.” Dipper gave out a breathy laugh. Bill stood and grabbed his laptop of his desk and brought it back to the bed. He opened it and pulled Dipper into him and draped his arm over Dippers shoulders. Bill opened ‘Netflix’ on his computer and with his free arm, passed it over to Dipper.  

“Pick something, we can just watch some Netflix for a while, get your mind off things." Dipper took the laptop and scrolled through their options. He decided to pick something funny to get his mind off things. He was going through the comedy when he came across one of his personal favorites ‘Scott Pilgrim Vs The World’. He clicked on the title and Bill smiled. “I love this movie!” Bill said enthusiastically. Dipper smiled at his childlike voice.  

“I'm glad you enjoy my taste in movies. The movie started and they began to watch. They were 10 minutes in when Dipper dropped his head on Bills shoulder. Bill could feel how Dipper relaxed into him. He smiled to himself and rested his head on Dippers. It was a comfortable position for them both.  

They were halfway through the movie when Bill realized that Dipper was asleep. Bill carefully slid away from the sleeping boy, put away his computer. He considered leaving the sleeping freshman on his bed and take the floor but he knew Dipper would feel bad about that.  

Bill lightly shook Dippers arm. Dipper stirred and mumbled something but he couldn't understand what he said. "What was that, Dip?" Bill questioned.  

"...I don’t want to move..." Dipper snuggled into Bills bed more. Bill watched him _'god, this kid was adorable when he is sleepy'._   

"Well, I don’t want to sleep on the floor so scoot over then". Dipper rolled over on his back making room for Bill. Bill lay down next to Dipper and pulled the sheets over himself and Dipper. Bill closed his eyes and thought of the person currently sleeping next to him. _'Will dipper be mad that we shared a bed for a night?'_. He decided that he would have time for questions later, for now he will just enjoy the moment. Just as he was drifting into sleep, Dipper threw his arm over Bills chest and snuggled into Bills warm body.  

"Goodnight Bill." Dipper whispered into Bills neck. Bill wrapped his arm around Dippers side so he was holding his body in his own.

"Goodnight Dipper."  He whispered as they drifted into a peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for the mistakes, I'm sorry for the crappy quality, I'm just kinda sorry for this whole thing. 
> 
> While i was writing i was listening to a lot of Rise Against songs, Tragedy + Time, Swing Life Away, Bridges ect.


End file.
